Resources And Facilities > ICT Provision and School Laptop Scheme > Advice for parents

Many parents, particularly with younger children, are unsure how to deal with the problems that new technology, particularly internet access, bring into the home. How is the balance to be set between allowing children the freedom to explore and protecting them from material which can corrupt and can even involve them in illegal activity? The latest phenomenon of the "social networking sites", where children can now easily upload their own details (for example school, photograph, address, likes and dislikes) has obvious dangers - but to them appear as nothing more than an exciting way to maintain friendships and make new friends.

Each family must decide their own course, but the following may help with the decisions which have to be made.

• Should your child be allowed to have an internet-enabled computer in their bedroom? It's not like a television where the content of the programmes has already been decided. Anything can be found on the internet, and children of all ages are naturally curious. And there are real dangers in unregulated "chat rooms" where your child can be befriended by a plausible interloper. The best way to regulate what your child is accessing is the knowledge that anyone may pass by and see what is on the screen.
• Should you use parental control software? Such software is readily available and parents can set the level of control for different ages. It does work, and children do understand the need for it - whatever they may actually say! But you will need to set different levels for different ages.
• Should you advise your child about the dangers of chat rooms? First, make sure you understand fully how chat rooms work and how easily undesirable people can sign in under an alias and pretend to be what they aren't. (Look at the NCH link below for advice on this). You may then well be able to open your child's eyes to possibilities which hadn't occurred to them.
• What about the new "social networking" sites, such as Bebo? These are absolutely the in-thing now, the way that young people communicate. You are treading into dangerous waters if you ban them, because then you can't see what they're doing on them. They are a genuinely new way to communicate, and the ability to upload information, pictures, ideas is new and exciting. You may find the language used on them quite horrifying at times, but in some ways that is just a feature of this type of communication - it isn't actually how children think. Will Biddle, who is the school's PSHE coordinator, has the following information:

Video posting sites

The following websites allow anyone to search or browse millions of video clips on all subjects. To upload your own video clips, you need to set up an account. All you will be asked for is an e mail account and/or username, and a password.

• Google Video
• YouTube
• Yahoo

Social networking

The following websites allow users to register and then create their own personal page. You can then post any information you like about yourself; pictures, likes and dislikes etc.

You can then browse the site for any other people (referred to as 'friends') you might want to contact or interactive with.

With Bebo (very popular with Tonbridge School boys), users have to register as a member of a particular school. In reality, anyone can register as a 'Tonbridgian', as there are no checks on this. You can also register as a fictitious person. This is quite useful if you are intending to use the site to 'police' regular users or simply observe its use anonymously.

The potential worry is that undesirables can register as Tonbridge students and scout or groom individuals. We therefore advise boys against posting information about themselves that allows them to be reached physically rather than virtually.

• BEBO
• Myspace
• MSN
• Facebook

If you do require further advice or assistance please email Will Biddle

I would add the further more general sites which have plenty of advice for parents:

• NCH, a children's charity
• Choose a web filter (GetNetWise)
• Keeping safe on the net (BBC Technology)

• The Foundation
• Facilities for Hire
• Parents' Arts Society
• Old Tonbridgian Society
• Members' Leisure Club
• Employment Opportunities