Parents’ Pastoral Conference 2025: Building Resilience and Confidence in Young People
The School’s annual Parents’ Pastoral Conference was held at the end of the Michaelmas Half Term, hosted by Camilla Campbell (Head of Pastoral Education) in the EM Forster Theatre.
This year’s theme was “Building Resilience and Confidence in Young People”, with sessions including the Tonbridge School Gaming Survey Results, Resilience in a Connected World, a pupil panel discussion with Alida (JH5), Theo (WW5), Thomas (SH4), and Angus (PS3), and finally, a keynote lecture delivered by Alanna Fraser, from Character Compass Consulting. Alanna’s session, entitled Building confidence and resilience: a coaching-led approach, sought to equip parents with practical tools to facilitate communication and supportive conversations.
The results of the 2025 Tonbridge School Gaming Survey were set in the context of the national picture in terms of time spent online and the language used by typical 15–17-year-old boys. Director of IT & Digital and Digital Wellbeing, Anthony Milgate’s subsequent session reflected on the positive elements of connectedness, community, friendship, belonging, strategy, creativity and fun that boys gain from playing computer games. He sought to ‘move beyond the myth of addiction’ to consider a balanced approach to managing the benefits and risks associated with gaming.
The pupil panel provided case studies to support these points, via the examples of the online lives of them and their friends. The boys recognised that a phone can be a ‘default time filler’ and that whilst restrictions on phone use at School may be initially frustrating, subsequent internalisation of these rules has led them to have more positive habits out of School.
The concluding keynote lecture from Alanna Fraser explored the role of parents to “help our children climb their mountain”; explaining the role of parents in contributing to their children’s character formation (how it is ‘taught, sought and caught’); and finally, sharing a communication toolkit which will enable parents to build deeper connections with their teens.
